My IBP shooting cycle has just finished. 2 weeks of shooting has got me thinking a lot. I'm really tired but my work has only just begun since I am the editor. The shooting was tough but the emotional stress love weighed hard on my shoulders.

My sister's beloved cat passed away during one of my shoots. It was so hard on me because I was watching her dying in the morning. The vet said that her kidneys have failed and it was only a matter of time. I stayed with her the whole morning and tried to push my attendance back till I couldn't anymore. Anyway, I don't wish to go into details about it because I am afraid I might just start bringing out the tears again. All I know is that the day we buried Ocean, my sister's cat, my sister brought home a stray kitten that night. Trust me my sister was extremely torn up about Ocean and for some reason I think Ocean sent that stray kitten to my sister to make her happy. And my sister normally doesn't pick up any random kitten from the streets. Strange eh?

Love is a powerful thing, even after passing. All of my pets that have grown up and passed on were all buried in my garden. It is a sad beautiful thing. So many tears, so many heart aches but much love shared around.

Anyway, back to my film shoot, after this shoot, I've been thinking a lot. What I really learned from this shoot is that you need a lot of money. You have to be willing to spend to get something you believe is needed for the show. Contacts help a lot but money is still the root of getting things. So I've decided to temporarily leave this industry.

I've decided to take my modeling a little more seriously because I can learn a bit about the commercial side which is doing a lot better than film making itself in Singapore, since film making in my country is relatively very new. So yep. Build up some cash, get to know contacts, use the time to write my stories, complete my uni, and then maybe one day when the time is right, return to film making. I don't think I've let my course go down the drain, or more like let my whole 3 years go down the drain. In fact I believe it has taught me a lot, well taught me enough to know why I made the decision I made.

I guess that is what I can say for now. I actually want to give a full out detail of my film shoot days, unfortunately I am very tired and have little energy to continue typing.

Anyway, I want to say Ocean, I love you and you will forever be in my heart. You are the most elegant and beautiful cat I have ever come to know and love. Thank you for letting me stay with you in the morning. My heart will forever be with you. I love you.

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